Whatever happened to the saying: “You could do anything you want if you put your mind to it”.
When I turned 30, it was like hitting mid-life crisis. I knew I didn’t want to continue working in the finance industry because I knew wasn’t competitive enough. I knew that I had to get out, to gain expertise in a field or industry. To be valuable, I need to be an expert (Thank you, Penelope Trunk) and start accumulating my experiences now because to me, the last train was about to leave.
So I took a great leap and left. I pretty much shocked everybody, even myself. I had my whole future in front of me!!! How exciting is that? I could do whatever I wanted.
It was great the first 5 minutes and a nightmare from then on. I’m not even going to discuss the familial disapproval.
It wasn’t just a career direction I had to figure out, I think the worst of it was the emotional battle against myself I had to overcome. It was FEAR. I would be wide awake the whole night, every night, wondering if I’ll ever figure out what I want to do. And what if I did figure it out, would I be able to do it, could I get my foot in the door? And if I did, is this what I really want to do? Oh wait, I’m not sure what I want to do yet. Crap, how do I figure that out, I’m 30 already?!
By the time I did fall asleep, I would wake up in a state of panic. Acid reflux? I would be incomplete without it.
I read books, really good books (which I’ll introduce in future posts.) I understood where my fear, my anxiety, my worries came from. I knew that I needed more confidence and needed to have faith that my future will turn out okay. But here’s the key: knowing what you need to be or to have and actually becoming it or having it are two COMPLETELY different things.
Rationally I knew what I needed, but emotionally I couldn’t get there. I couldn’t stamp out the fear of the unknown which chipped at my confidence and which then fed into my fear. Lovely.
At one point I was so scared I didn’t want to leave the house. Thank god that only lasted a few minutes because I realized I’m becoming one those people that went on Dr. Phil (and I didn’t have access to Dr. Phil!) or people that were too scared to live their lives that end up not living at all (figuratively) and regretted it on their death beds. I needed help.
I went on various sites like Oprah.com, looked up meditation, and kept researching how I can deal with this, now, and cheaply.
A few days later, in one of my many newsletter emails, I noticed an article by this guy who wrote about how he dealt with his anxiety by first embracing it. Read it, couldn’t really comprehend it and decided to look at the comments section to see if I can gain a better understanding. As fate would have it, someone mentioned how this is very much like the Sedona Method.
Well, obviously desperate, I looked up the Sedona Method.
The method was developed by Lester Levenson, who was told by doctors at the age of 42 that he only had a few months to live. He died when he was 82 years old, living an additional 40 years of healthy and happy life.
The method is simple. One, the more you avoid an emotion, the stronger it will come back and it never goes away. Two, if you embrace that emotion, relish in it, you can and will let it go.
Yes, that’s pretty much it. I was suckered by the testimonials and by the fact that this guy developed this method over 50 years ago and the method has been practiced continually to this day. If anything, I’m too curious to find out if it really works. Can I actually conquer my fears?
Thank goodness the Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin (Levenson’s protege) is available on Kindle. $10 was cheap if it could help me even a little. Don’t get me wrong, I have my skepticism.
The book is structured to have you repetitively practice embracing and letting go the emotions, unlike other self-help books that save the practice at the end.
It taught me that I am not my emotions and therefore I am not bound by them. This is where the power of the mind is unleashed. We tend to believe we are our emotions. We say to ourselves I am fearful instead of I feel fear or I am sad instead of I feel sad. We identify ourselves with our emotions and thereby becoming one with it. So of course you’re never going to get rid of it.
Using his method, you can basically objectify your emotions and kick it aside so that for one moment, you can have peace. The longer you can be at peace, the more clarity you’ll have in your head. With that, whatever answers you seek, you either already have or know what you have to do to find it. We tend to bury the answers we already have with our babble. And it was through this practice that I knew marketing is what I’ve wanted to explore for a long time.
Testimonials are scattered throughout this book and each time I read one, I’m remained skeptical if it will work or if it’ll work on me? It’s not a book that you can read through all at once if you practice along with it. I took one month to finish reading from front to end and it was around 2 weeks into it that I noticed my acid reflux had gone down significantly and I was able to fall asleep better. I was still skeptical! But the change in me couldn’t be ignored. The transformation wasn’t overnight (consistent with many testimonials) and now I’m a firm believer.
All in all it allowed me to set aside the fear and think clearly about what I need to do to discover my next career path which led me to taking the Berkeley Online Extension course on Social Media. This doesn’t mean I don’t worry. It doesn’t mean I don’t have fears. What I can do, like most normal people, is to keeping move, attempt things, try things, despite the fear.
Whatever your emotions are, whether it’s about finances, or relationships, or health, or self-esteems, if you feel you are bound by it, suffocating from it, get this book. Be open-minded to the possibilities that this method can do for you and you could set yourself free.
You can read the first chapter on a Kindle App for free, and you can see an excerpt besides the first chapter if you click the “Look Inside This Book” when you view the product as a paperback. I don’t understand why Amazon doesn’t include the extra excerpt in its Kindle sample too.
If you need help, I hope this helps you in some way. Life is too short to not live happily. So yes, you could do anything you want, if you put your mind to it. ;)